This blog is a visual articulation of MY views of the world around me. I will present various sides of arguments, and always sum them up with my own personal take.
My more entertaining/diverse/ridiculous/lovable blog can be found at http://mrjdjude.tumblr.com/ and I'll do all of my following from that blog as well!
Thanks and enjoy!
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
Article Share: "White Women Do It, Too: 8 Things Black Women Can’t Get Away With Doing"
Let me start off by saying I’m SICK AND TIRED of this conversation. It’s the same rhetoric over and over again. If it isn’t a story about why Black women are single, or why Black men don’t want Black women, it’s a story on how the “other” side has it so much easier in the dating world. Everyone is looking for someone to blame or someone to yell at for “making” them a victim.
In the most recent “I’m a victim of society” news, here is another post by LaShaun Williams. I railed against a previous article of hers (unfortunately/fortunately I can’t find it). Generally I think she misses that mark and fails to take in the whole story when she writes. She has her right to do that, I just hate it when she uses her opinion to speak for the whole…
This article is yet another example of her style of broad generalizations and making those generalizations examples for the whole.
In the article she states that Black women can’t get away with sex on the first date (or within the first three months). Speaking only for myself, (trying to refrain from falling into the same trap I’m mad at her about) sex too soon isn’t a turn-off. Sex too late can be. There are no separate rules for Black women as opposed to the other races of women I’ve dated.
I don’t think I agree with either her sex tape or nose job comments. I’m sure if [insert Black celeb here] “leaked” a sex tape, she wouldn’t get too much backlash (depending on who she was…). It’s not about what race the person is on the sextape fiascos, it is all about the personal persona. If they’re a socialite or someone that others want to see naked, it won’t have a negative affect. As far as the nose job piece, plenty of rhinoplasties go wrong, Black and white, and many go well, Black and white. Plastic surgery is a whole other conversation (body image, European standards of beauty, access to the best doctors, etc…).
Her commentary on loud talking and low-rise jeans are real weak. DON’T TALK LOUD ON THE PHONE. Nobody wants to hear that shit. Black, white, Asian, male, female. That shit is always unattractive. Regardless. DON’T WEAR CLOTHES THAT DON’T FIT YOU! Also, not all Black women look bad in them. How can she forget about the diversity in body structures of Black women?! Another example of her myopic view of the world.
Without even commenting on her “Black women and angry faces” I have to say I am really annoyed by her commentary. Most things are repetitive. They come from a complete victim mentality. They are broad claims but she leaves out a large section of the people whom she is supposedly defending. What is most upsetting is this antiquated view on sexuality.
I talk about sex, a lot. I like love it. It’s important to me. I would venture that it is important to others too. All of Williams’ comments about sex support sexual suppression. Sexual liberation is a good thing. Why should Black women keep themselves from that? Who is asking for that? No one that I know.
Again, I’m really tired of this type of story. It saddens me that this is still part of the current dialogue. Not sure what it takes to get past it, but I hope we figure it out soon. My sanity depends (slightly) on it.
Bleeping out Safe Sex
So the other week I blogged about the links between oral sex and throat cancers. While I mentioned how that new news may not affect my overall view on oral sex as a practice, it encouraged me to be more of an advocate for safe sex, especially when talking to younger people who are beginning their foray into sex.
I’ve tweeted (here and here) about how the radio has been bleeping out safe sex references in some of the most popular radio songs (i.e. Chris Brown’s “No Bulls**t” and Lloyd’s “Lay it Down”). I think that is THE DUMBEST THING we could do! I mean, obviously people listen to the radio. Based on the callers I’ve heard call in and rquest these songs, a good amount of high school students are requesting and listening to these songs. Based on personal experience, it is during this time (high school) that kids start having sex. So what we have is a highly listened to song, that is laced with sexual references (that don’t get bleeped out) but we bleep out the only parts that keep these artists, and by extension these young people, sexually responsible! What kind of sense that make?
What we should do is keep EVERY single reference to safe sex in all of these songs. If anything, we should encourage more artists to inject their songs with safe sex references. We need to make it cool to always use protection. One way we can do that is through culture. Music has been and seemingly always will be a huge part of a group’s cultural identity. By making safe sex usage sexy and keeping it at the forefront of our musical selections, I think we will move towards a safer sexual place.
Maybe I’m being an extreme optimist but I think it can make a significant difference. At the end of the day, it couldn’t hurt, it can only help!
ARTICLE SHARE: "How Important is Sex in a Relationship?"
This post comes from my fellow Colgate Alum Kiss-n-Tell. As a confession, I started reading her blog because of this huge crush I have had on her but I’ve found her blog to be very honest and thought provoking. In this post she does a good job of explaining her position on the subject.
For me, sex is important. Real important. I see it as a deal breaker. I have an above average sex drive. I need someone who can match that. There is something very key to me in those intimate moments you spend with your partner. When the sex gets bad in relationships, that has historically been the beginning of the end for me. I will add that sometimes good sex has kept me in relationships longer than I’d like (or longer than what is healthy).
It’s hard for me to put a percentage on how important it is, but it is weighted slightly more than some other things. I say that because I believe that the way we interact on other levels will greatly affect our sex; if we vibe well on other issues (ambition, fitness, culture, sports, family values, etc.) the sex will vibe right too.
I don’t think I can be in a “serious” relationship without having sex with the person. I’m WAY too sexual for it. Especially if I am trying to do right by that person. Whatever, I’m trying to keep it real. Not bringing it to the table sexually will ensure that we’ll never make it down the aisle.
What y’all think?
Let’s Talk About Sex… But Not Like That
In this post from my “Bloggers I Like” series, Sister Toldja breaks down her views on over-sexualized lyrics in today’s music vs. the music of her/our early childhood. I good take on it. I agree with most of it. I do like the music of today, and while I agree it is over-sexualized, I also believe that isn’t that much different from the music of my childhood. Ultimately, and Sister Toldja mentions but mostly glosses over it, the responsibility lies with parents to supplement what their children are listening too.
