My World is My Stage

Let me start off by saying I’m SICK AND TIRED of this conversation. It’s the same rhetoric over and over again. If it isn’t a story about why Black women are single, or why Black men don’t want Black women, it’s a story on how the “other” side has it so much easier in the dating world. Everyone is looking for someone to blame or someone to yell at for “making” them a victim.

In the most recent “I’m a victim of society” news, here is another post by LaShaun Williams. I railed against a previous article of hers (unfortunately/fortunately I can’t find it). Generally I think she misses that mark and fails to take in the whole story when she writes. She has her right to do that, I just hate it when she uses her opinion to speak for the whole…

This article is yet another example of her style of broad generalizations and making those generalizations examples for the whole.

In the article she states that Black women can’t get away with sex on the first date (or within the first three months). Speaking only for myself, (trying to refrain from falling into the same trap I’m mad at her about) sex too soon isn’t a turn-off. Sex too late can be. There are no separate rules for Black women as opposed to the other races of women I’ve dated. 

I don’t think I agree with either her sex tape or nose job comments. I’m sure if [insert Black celeb here] “leaked” a sex tape, she wouldn’t get too much backlash (depending on who she was…). It’s not about what race the person is on the sextape fiascos, it is all about the personal persona. If they’re a socialite or someone that others want to see naked, it won’t have a negative affect. As far as the nose job piece, plenty of rhinoplasties go wrong, Black and white, and many go well, Black and white. Plastic surgery is a whole other conversation (body image, European standards of beauty, access to the best doctors, etc…).

Her commentary on loud talking and low-rise jeans are real weak. DON’T TALK LOUD ON THE PHONE. Nobody wants to hear that shit. Black, white, Asian, male, female. That shit is always unattractive. Regardless. DON’T WEAR CLOTHES THAT DON’T FIT YOU! Also, not all Black women look bad in them. How can she forget about the diversity in body structures of Black women?! Another example of her myopic view of the world.

Without even commenting on her “Black women and angry faces” I have to say I am really annoyed by her commentary. Most things are repetitive. They come from a complete victim mentality. They are broad claims but she leaves out a large section of the people whom she is supposedly defending. What is most upsetting is this antiquated view on sexuality.

I talk about sex, a lot. I like love it. It’s important to me. I would venture that it is important to others too. All of Williams’ comments about sex support sexual suppression. Sexual liberation is a good thing. Why should Black women keep themselves from that? Who is asking for that? No one that I know.

Again, I’m really tired of this type of story. It saddens me that this is still part of the current dialogue. Not sure what it takes to get past it, but I hope we figure it out soon. My sanity depends (slightly) on it.